How do you get a clown off a swing set? You throw an axe at his head when he's not looking.

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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"who you calling pinhead" tell me you know what thats off

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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What happens when you mix a camel and a penguin? A cenguin!

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What is chewy and tastes like gum? Chewing gum.

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So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Nothing, he was a fish.

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Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because due to the crashing economy he feels the need tom travel far distanced for work and food to support his growing family, this causes him to take dangerous routes of travel through hazardous areas with fast moving automobiles that potential have the chance to kill or severely Maine the distressed chicken. Not only does he have to cross these roads twice a day he is also under the added pressure of many millions of people questions why he takes such chivalrous actions to save the his future descent and the steep decline in the population of chicken.

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hahah there are so funny that they are so funny that they are so litteral that i make my self make other people laugh so that they poop

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What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

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Why did it die Nothing died

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops