I once met with Mahatma Gandhi and he said to me "Child, why do I walk this earth?.. What is the meaning of my living?.. Why am I alive?" and I bowed in respect of his wisdom and said "I don't know. Why do you?" and he said "I don't I'm dead."

Roses are red, Violets are blue. So was my son after I beat him to death.

I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

What can u see in the dark that u can't see in the light? Absolutely nothing

What's worse than having to tie one of your shoelaces after walking 5 miles? Getting a 56 year old mixture of blood, urine and sperm injected in your asshole.

Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

why did the computer crash? it didn't

How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

what gets louder as it get smaller? a baby in a blender

There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

children burning

Whats black and hangs from the my tree? A tire swing.

Why was the women's underwear red?... Because she got stabbed.

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Why did you just verbalize the onomatopoeic sound of knocking on my door rather than taking the action itself?

How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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