How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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What do you call a mexican doing drugs? An average pablo

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

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why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

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why was six afraid of seven? seven was a sex offender

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Why was the black man hired at the clothing store? He needed some money to feed his family.

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

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What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

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A man is writing with a #2 pencil. He looks down and sees that it says "Made in China." He shrugs and continues writing

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What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

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How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

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Why did the first elephant fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? PEER PRESSURE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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