How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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"We wear pink on Wednesdays"" -Mean Girls, 2004

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve.

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whats black and red all over? a chalk board

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because seven "eight" nine. Yeah, I went there.

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"your momma's so fat that she died in her sleep last night," said the doctor. "There was nothing we could do."

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I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

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Person 1: I have one question: What are those?!?!?!?!?! Person 2 : Their shoes you Dimwit. Person 1: (runs away crying) -by Mekkhi

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Whats white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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"Why Do Dogs Bark ? " Because Thats What Their Suppose To Do !

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

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a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

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A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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A Dog walked into a bar and the bartenter said 'What can i get you' the dog dident say aneything cuz its a dog!!!!!

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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Antijokes?! More like Antijakes!!!

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MC donald the duck loves Justin's Balls. And Daniel Ma loves fried chicken boiled with rice \Cupcake

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Roses come in a variety of colors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops