What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

Do you know the muffin man? No

What's the difference between and indian man and a barstool....... indians walked on the moon with a cow named chester.

What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is ur chest as flat as ur back?

Donald Trump

What did the black man in a white 2007 Jeep Wrangler when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

Whats has no comedic value? A brick

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to use a female name.

I don't know about anybody else, but I just watched a part of a My Little Pony episode, and there's something about them that makes you want to come back and watch more. It's wierd, like mind control. Has anyone noticed this?

Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family cried about his final days of his life.

oh hai

Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

"who you calling pinhead" tell me you know what thats off

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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