One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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Q. I'm not hot, I'm not cold I'm not young, I'm not old I'm not lame, I'm not cool I'm not smart, and I'm not a fool. What am I? A. Text

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

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getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

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I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops