When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 2,091,029,203,284,485,389,684,564,345,089,859,849,485,374,094,394,584,584.00002394832323945834958349234854343432323343534342323243543534234358394564023285409564053942304923049234 x 10 to the 1234543565342312323560845834034th power divided by 0.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black man with pearl white teeth ? A man with good dental hygiene.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. How many babies does it take to paint a room? A. Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the white teen say to the black man? Sup nigga. What then followed? A savage beating at which the teen did not survive.

thumb_up thumb_down

A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What's the worst part of 3 Mexicans dying in a car accident? A: They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down

u suck

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops