Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

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children burning

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How do you starve a black man? Tell welfare to cancel food stamps

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Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

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A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

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Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

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What did the cancer patient get for his birthday HIV

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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Do you know the muffin man? No

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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What's the difference between and indian man and a barstool....... indians walked on the moon with a cow named chester.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is ur chest as flat as ur back?

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What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

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There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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