How do you stop a car? Put on the Brake

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Why did the man think he was hungry? Answer: Because his brain told that he needed to Eat or he was going to be really hungry. Made by eli

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

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A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

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I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

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A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

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kyle dosnt question his sexuality

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

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knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

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How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

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1st guy: Wanna hear a joke? 2nd guy: Yeah sure. 1st guy: Me too.

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Q.What do Santa Clause and a grape have in common? A.They both have beards. Except for the grape.

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Q.whats long, black and hard to cut through? A.a line at kfc!

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What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

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Why did the soccer player miss practice? He got shot in the face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To commit suicide thus getting to the other side(hell/heaven)

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops