How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a registered sex offender.

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So, these two antennas were getting married. The wedding was great, but the reception was terrible!

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What is worse than a sharknado? A bullcano.

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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Whats worse than jizzing while your on a date? Shitting in you pants while your on a date.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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i find your gravy quite lumpy.

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How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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Q: What's brown and looks like a weasel? A: A weasel.

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops