How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

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knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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i find your gravy quite lumpy.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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Q: What's brown and looks like a weasel? A: A weasel.

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Whats worse than jizzing while your on a date? Shitting in you pants while your on a date.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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Q: What's brown and smells like poo? A: poo

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If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

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from south park what do u call a jew on a rope no one ever said the answer, so my answer is a jew on a rope.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops