What's worse than getting stabbed Getting stabbed two times

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What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why did the fat man fall off the balcony? He didn't, I pushed him.

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How many dead babies fit in a car? Ask Casey Anthony, she'll probably know.

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Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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Hahaha

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A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

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Q.Anti-jokes are funny? A.Depends on your opinion

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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What is worse than a sharknado? A bullcano.

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

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Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

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So, these two antennas were getting married. The wedding was great, but the reception was terrible!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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