How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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What's the bright side of Jimmy only having one leg? There isn't one.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

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A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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A man walks in to a bar, so he got hurt.

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Why doesn't Stephen Hawking play football? Because he's a nerd.

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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Whats black and cant read white paper? An African

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

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How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

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(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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Q.why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A. because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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