Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

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How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

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why did the chicken cross the road because the farm is across the street from were it is now

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

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Jimmy Saville

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

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If i open this door you can go trough it

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He thanked the gracious african-descented donor, and with a little luck he just might see his beautiful wife and kids again

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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