Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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What's black and can't climb trees? A parking lot

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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an indian woman works at seven eleven. this is because her son has one leg and she needs to pay pay for all the medical needs.

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Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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Whats worse than being a 40 year old virgin? Being a 12 year old girl in Africa who gets raped everyday to feed her family.

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A girl gets raped -teagan d

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

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what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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PENIS

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

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What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops