What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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I once heard what I consider the best joke ever: But I am not telling it to you, because this is a the anti-joke section. Moral: You better find the secret "real jokes section" because its there, yeeeeeess yeeeeeeeeees of coursehahahahaha!

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

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I leave you with a riddle, I am round. I am an orange. What am I?

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Q: Whats the longest book in the library A: Understanding Women

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Why was a member of the KKK laughing at another member who was his friend? Because he had just divorced his black wife who he recently found out that he had received AIDS from.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Quick ladies take off all your clothes the cloth stealer is coming Oh yyyaaaa

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SHINEE IS BACK PART HARD

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Simba was moving slow,so I told him to MUFASA!!!

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A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

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What's more fun than a negative pregnancy test? Nothing.

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A typical out-door activity.

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Top Gear USA

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why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

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knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

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What amusing anecdote did the Department of Educational Dictations officer tell his coworker? There was no amusing anecdote. DED men tell no tales.

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whats worse than god meaner than the devil. the poor have it the rich need it nothing

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Poop

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What did Batman get for Christmas. Nothing his parents are dead.

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Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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