A: If you were stranded on an island and you could only have one thin, what would it be? B: A boat A: That makes sense

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Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

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I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

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Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

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Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

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What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

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Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

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yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

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What is the difference between a white mans penis and a black mans penis? It doesn't matter, phallic size isn't everything its what you do that defies you.

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What do you call a cat that plays football? Weird.

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Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

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8 muslims walk into a bar You know why. Because their suicidal bombing plans were put off until Tuesday

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What's similar about a mole and an eagle? They both are blind and dig through the ground. Except the eagle.

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Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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Question: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Answer: Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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They say once you go black, you never go black. But clearly they weren't referring to Nigel, who had an average-sized penis at best.

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Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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