Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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The Duck walks up to the lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand...Hey bum bum bum....How much is the lemonade

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Nothing... (The game.)

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

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What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

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Mr Whelk visited his doctor. His doctor put on a sterile glove and inserted two fingers into the man's rectum. "Does this feel all right?" The doctor asked "Yes" replied Mr Whelk. "But is my wrist broken or not?

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Once upon a time, a boy sat on a hedgehog. He abruptly stood up, as the spikes had caused him a certain amount of discomfort.

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What do you call a man with a fork stuck in his head? A man with a fork stuck in his head

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What's funnier A Ginger or a fat kid A fat ass ginger

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

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Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

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What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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The world ends and everyone dies exept for a laywer

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What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops