Q: What do you call a man with no arms, legs, and an eyepatch A: Names

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whats the differnce between a cadilack and a pile of dead babies? theres no cadilack in the back of my car1 >.>

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Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

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yo mamas so fat whenever she wears a pink bathing suit people say "look at that fat lady wearing a pink bathing suit!

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What happened to the boy who spilled his fruit punch on the president? He was offered a new one compliments of Obama himself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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Whats the difference between a field of corn and a dead body? The field of corn wasn't killed by severe blood loss and hemorrhaging after it was stabbed in the back, stomach and abdomen 27 times in 1987, where the escaped convicted serial killer buried it beside a river in Northern Dakota.

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Where's my tractor?

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Man in Balcony: You're telling it wrong!

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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Whats funny about a blonde, brunette and red-head stranded on an island? Nothing. They are in a very dangerous survival situation, which could prove to be fatal

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

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Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

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What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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Hey "Oren" its Red, sorry but I got to go now. How you been doing? Kinda missed you over here. So you actually care about how you sound now?

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What is faster than a black man with a stereo? A car

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A married couple is arguing over the temperature in their house. The wife wants it at 62 degrees and the husband wants it at 74. What should they do? Nothing while they are arguing their daughter decides to put it at 32 and freeze them to death

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Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

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Your chicken just went across the road. What does this tell you about the economy?

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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Q: Whats The Difference between Batman and Blackman? A: One can go to a store without Robbing it...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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