Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

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a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

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A man asks a young woman at a party if a rag smells like chloroform. She doesn't respond because she's passed out. He takes her to a nearby bedroom, rapes her, and leaves the party promptly. He'll probably victimize many other women with this method.

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I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

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What is worse than a sharknado? A bullcano.

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Alright then, call me sometime then.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? This is 7, if you do everything I say, 6 will live.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "I'm your dog. Please stop having sex with me on Chatubate."

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A Black and a Mexican are in the back of a car, they are carpooling to save money on gas.

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4 strangers are shopping at the mall. The big one does a trick and then the small one was good. The bad was small like a tree, seven days later the short one was having a party with a pretty lady. To the teacher was morning and everyone did happy times.

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hot diggity dog

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im a willy bum bum

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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What do you call a muffin with frosting? A cupcake

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whats brown and sticky? a sweaty mexican

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Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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