Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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What's the difference a ham and bugs bunny? -When I see a ham on the dinner table, I eat it. When I see bugs bunny on the dinner table and asks me "what's up, doc?" I stay away from sugar for a while and get tested for heroin

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knock knock... whose there? I don't know why don't you open it and find out dumb ass... Gosh people and their common sense these days!!

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How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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A blind man walks past a fish market, pauses, takes in a big sniff, and says, "Good morning ladies!" to the women walking by wearing too much perfume.

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

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I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

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Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get hit by a car

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Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

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What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

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What do you call a man looking at Anti jokes on this ? you

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out of your comfort zone

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A horse walks in a bar. The barman asks: "Why the long face?" The horse replies: I have aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops