Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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How do you stop a car? Put on the Brake

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Why did the black man go to KFC? Ever since the economic downfall Kentucky Fried Chicken is the only remaining food dispensary in a 5 miles radius.......and hes black

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Look whos talking Matt Critchley

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

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There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

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what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

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A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

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And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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A duck walks into a bar, but he is kicked out because he is not 21

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Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

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How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

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THUMBS THIS DOWN AND I WILL KILL YOU! TOTAL PEOPLE DIED FROM THUMBING THIS DOWN: 147289347809237489

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What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

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why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Anti-jokes

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Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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