why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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why was the blonde fired from the factory? she ate the maneger's fingers.

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles read? Because they are blind you racist.

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

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Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple All of the antijokes about it

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why did the 6 year old girl go to therapy? Because her step dad raped her.

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yo mamas so fat she probably has to wear a gerdle when she leaves the house.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

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What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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