What's read, round and gets smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato pearler

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you call a kid in a wheelchair? . handicapped.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the boy crying? Because he had AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock Who's there? Interupting cow Interu--- MOOOOOO!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the girl fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Nice story but I wish it would have had a good point like... A moral? Moral: Need a light?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A black and a white man enter the bar all the people jump on the black guy to beat him up when the white guy is geting free vodka

thumb_up thumb_down -15

One time i was in north philly and bought milk, then i came home and drank it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

roses are red violets are red everything is red who set my house on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you kill a Jew? The same way you kill any person. It could be gunshot, strangulation, hanging, poison etc. They are the same as every other human being, so you would kill them just like any other human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Question: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Answer: Being raped by a giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the little child orphan with no arms or legs get for christmas? CANCER and for his birthday A.I.D.S. R.I.P little orphan

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops