How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

thumb_up thumb_down +35

once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Sally fall off a tree? She wanted to get down

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

thumb_up thumb_down +31

minorities

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Well neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the kid fall down the stairs? he had polio

thumb_up thumb_down +29

ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So I was blow drying my penis and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating up your dinner." wasn't the right response.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do u call a apple a apple

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a bar. Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops