What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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Q: whats the differences between a bra and the canucks?? A: a bra has two cups

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

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Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, and Chris Brown all walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are there.

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why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

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canadians

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Dave then complied, opened the door and let the police search his house. He was then found innocent of drug related charges.

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Where is the best place to hold a bridal shower? The Kitchen

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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How do you disprove feminism? This is how I disprove feminism. I go up to a feminist and ask her, 'If there are penises, then why are there women?' I have never met a feminist who can say anything in response to my logic.

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Why was the kid happy? Because it was his birthday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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If a bear was mad he would be beary angry.

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Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

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I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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