Q. what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A. nothing you done told her twice already

What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

F Detroit! I'm more of a Bulls fan

What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

Are you a tree

What did the fridge say when I opened it? Nothing.

Two black men walk into a strip club. They immediately walk out because they have faithful wives at home nurturing their beautiful African children.

Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

Why couldn't the man read? Because he was illiterate

why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

Adele walks into the stables

Jesus sacrificed his life to prove that he was immortal. So where does the part where he gets nailed to a stick and beaten the shit out of fit in?

Why was 6 afraid of 8 because 8 kidnap 7

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

Q: What did the blind deaf orphan get for Christmas? A: Cancer

A married couple is arguing over the temperature in their house. The wife wants it at 62 degrees and the husband wants it at 74. What should they do? Nothing while they are arguing their daughter decides to put it at 32 and freeze them to death

Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

Why did the blonde switch the lamp on? Because it was getting dark

what did hulk say when he was mad? im mad

what is a chicken answer: chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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