Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

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What does a dinosaur and TImmy's mom have in common? They're both dead

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

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What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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Q:Way C'nt U reed tHis? A: Because im retarted -ian surprenant

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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The Minnesota Vikings won a game.

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Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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Hahaahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahah :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I screw with you Hahahahahahahahahaahaggahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah

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Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

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How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

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How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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