Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot

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Name an American born white man in the NBA. Thats right, you cant

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What did one pare say to the other ... ... WE MAKE A GREAT PARE!!!

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JAmie stegman loves making love with his sister... he loves inbreeds so much

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Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

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No thank you, I don't like violence

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If someone tells you to look behind you do you? No

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Quick ladies take off all your clothes the cloth stealer is coming Oh yyyaaaa

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Whats funnier than 24, 69

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What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

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Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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whats 69+2? 71

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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