What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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Why wasn't the black man allowed on the golf course? Because a wealthy business man had rented out the entire course for a very important international investor.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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What is the difference between a baby and a rat? I don't have a rat in a cage

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A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

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What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

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What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

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How did the fat guy die? After an autopsy, it was discovered he was unaware of his type 2 diabetes and therefore did not treat it

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Where did Ann go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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