Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

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minorities

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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why did the kid fall down the stairs? he had polio

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ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

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Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

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So I was blow drying my penis and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating up your dinner." wasn't the right response.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch

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what do u call a apple a apple

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? -because she had no arms Why didn't she get back up? -because she had no legs Why diddn't anyone help her? -because she was black.

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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