what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

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Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

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a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar they are good friends and enjoy alcoholic beverages.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

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did you hear the joke about the lobster and the clownfish? no.. oh.

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Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

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Are you Jamaican? Because your dreadlocked hair is an iconic symbol of one who would be from the country of Jamaica.

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How many dead babies fit in a car? Ask Casey Anthony, she'll probably know.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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why did the the chicken cross the road? because some sad,board people wanted to make a joke

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Ron Paul for President!

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Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

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Knock knock ... *No ones home*

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

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When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

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What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

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What's a Jew's favorite food? You would have to ask on an individual basis because it is unfair to say that all Jew's have the same favorite food

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These two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second guy would've noticed it was there.

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I watched The Pianist last night? Holocaust

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Why are Asians good at math? Because coincidentally many are interested in it and study a lot.

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What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

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A man walks into a bar. He sees two horses, and about 15 other men in there which seem to have their own ethnicity and religion preferences. About 20 people on the sidelines were on anti-joke.com, writing down these jokes. About two leave at the same time, noticing that there is a horse in the bar. The man goes outside. Five swingsets are right next to each other, and some kids with no arms or no legs cannot swing. They are also being called names. An old adult is climbing a telephone pole with a backpack full of bananas. Also, a boy drops his ice cream after getting hit by a bus. And at the same time, he notices that most of these are better than the holocaust. He thinks, "do I live in Crazytown?" Well, he does.

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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