A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother.

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

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A fat man walked into a hot dog.

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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In the movie Inception, what does the man do after he thinks about calling out to his children so he could see them one last time? The man calls out to his children.

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why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

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Your Moma so fat, she would roll down a hill.

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What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

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Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender was just about to leave, so he takes the dog home with him. He makes found dog signs and posts them around the neighborhood. The owner sees one of the signs and retrieves his pet from the bartender, thanking him for finding his dog.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for him. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed Nextel to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

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Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

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A white man and a black woman walk into a bar, they both fell in love and lived happily together until their 25 year old son had gotten in too a car crash Luckily their son lived

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Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

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What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

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One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops