A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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I can count to potato.

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Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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"Your invited!" "Invited to what?" "I can't tell but everybody you know." " He he."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Personally, I'm a peaceful person. I'd let Hitler figure it out.

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Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

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tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

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Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Have you ever seen a dinosaur? No

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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What is the last digit of Pi? Pi is an infinite decimal sequence, and therefore has no last number, but if it did, it would presumably be somewhere from 0-9.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Alex Gedrose.

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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What did Helen Keller say to the leper? Buaaaaguuuhloo

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What did the dog say to the house? Roof

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Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops