Why did the black guy flunk out of school? Because his socio-economic conditions and his lack of support from his parents didn't provide optimal learning conditions.

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guys ducked.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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I like to slap biitches, I like to slap hoes

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A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

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What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

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There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We are both black men.

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I was Born ready I was born naked.

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What did the man with AIDS say to the other man? I have AIDS and will most likely succumb to the disease.

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three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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2 guys are on a scaffolding. One of them says to the other "If you fall from here, theres a high probability you will die"

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Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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your mommas so fat i like fat cows is she home?

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You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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