Q: why did the blind man walk off the bridge? A: because he was blind.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer we're both lawyers

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

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Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

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Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

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Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

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A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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How do you make a baby fly? Hit it's mother in the stomach.

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roses are red violets are blue your sister is pretty what happend to u??

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

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What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

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Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

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Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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