Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

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Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

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Who invented the Iceberg Salad? The Titanic

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what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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Q: why was the girl so dumb A: her teacher was a blond

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Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

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Why was there a black man and a white man in a bar? Due to the probability of this occurance happening due to percentages of black/white people in a bar, this specific situation should be of no shock, in fact it is a completely normal occurance one of which should not be questioned

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Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

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Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

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lipstick pig

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The FBI

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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Why do pokemon have hair? because they have no balls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops