When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

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Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it could not afford sandals.

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Last words of a redneck - "Hold my beer and watch this"

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Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Yo mom so fat that even Torres won't miss her

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad seen that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Violet, Not Blue, Kill yourself.

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brainfart

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What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

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I spilled spot remover on my dog. Needless to say he received a bath that night.

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What did one pare say to the other ... ... WE MAKE A GREAT PARE!!!

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

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What do you say to a black man on the street? Hello.

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

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the holocaust

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There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops