what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

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Who keeps his best friend in a gun rack? a red neck.

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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Timothy started school at an elementary and was in the fourth grade. His teacher was Ms Bradshaw, and he liked his class. One day as he was going into class, Ms Bradshaw asked everybody, "what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?" Timothy raised his hand and said "the holocaust." The teacher went to her desk and pulled out a desert eagle and shot Timothy five times in the face and raped his dead body

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis

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why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

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Yeah i'm into fitness, Fitness whole pizza in my mouth.

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Oama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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If someone tells you to look behind you do you? No

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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There are two lawyers about to enter a court room. They look at each other shake their hands and then the defending lawyer smiles and says "I'm Jewish your f*cked"

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How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

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What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff? That never happened. I just checked Wikipedia.

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how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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How do you kill a woman? Let her drive

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Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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