Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

Roses are red, Violets are blue I suck at poetry, Show me your tits

Why did the fat chick have a camel toe? She was half camel

I don't think Holocaust jokes are funny, Anne Frankly I find them offensive.

I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

My friend billy had a ten foot.... Garden hose. Upon showing it to the neighbour next door he hit it with a rake which significantly shortened it and subsequently had to buy another

Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

tobi packs fudge+parkers gay-sami

What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

Want to hear a Joke? No.

What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

Susie fell of a swing and died Knock Knock Who's there Susie

Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

A cow walks into a bar and said, "Bartender give me a glass of milk!"

Why didn't Johnny get into college? Because Johnny is retarded.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

A man walked into a bar. He broke his nose.

What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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