Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

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whats red and and has 202 legs? an ostrich, ok i lied about 200 legs and the red part

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I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

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Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

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what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

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What's red and sticky A DEAD BABY

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Orange Orange who? Banana Banana who? I have AIDS

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Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I said so.

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Pineapple.

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

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Why was the black man sent to prison? He was wrongfully accused of a crime which is a fine example of how flawed today's justice system is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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