Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

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What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

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How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interupting cow Interu--- MOOOOOO!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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What's the difference between a rhino and a house cat? They look way different.

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Bob dole

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what's black and has a huge sac? A negro

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Dad: i hate you. dads son:(kills him self)

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Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

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what do jason kidd and michael jackson have in common? they are both actually black

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What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

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The Rock: What is your name? Jeff: My name is... The Rock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops