Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

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Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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Why did the blond girl get fired from the M&M Factory. Becouse she removed all the W's

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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Q: What has eyes but can't see, has arms but no hands and legs but no feet A: a blind man with his hands and feet amputated with cancer

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Why did the boy die? He had cancer.

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Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

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Why did the chicken loom the road? To unlock the final boss.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

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what's worst than being gay? being black

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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What do you call the CEO of a successful company? Rich.

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What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

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Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

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Why did the girl get her hair cut off? Because she had cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

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Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

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Pee is yellow Shit is? brown My shit is yellow WTF

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops