What's black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, mixed-race babies.

whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

You mom is so fat she appeals to my secret fetish.

What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

learn the ropes?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...