What's white and capable of flash photography? A pony, I lied about the photography.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

So it was 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar......I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ended up getting nuked

thumb_up thumb_down -31

But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

thumb_up thumb_down -31

your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why is Timmy a dumbass ? He's not, because asses cannot, by definition, be intelligent, so it is unnecessary to qualify it as "dumb".

thumb_up thumb_down -31

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did little Sally say to the clown after the party? 'For someone who specializes in entertaining children of a young age, I am slightly underwhelmed at the degree of humor my friends and I have derived from your jokes today.'

thumb_up thumb_down -35

...............................................................hi

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the Black man kill the White man? So he could end up in jail with the rest of his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Whats worse than three dead women in a ditch ? 4 dead women in a ditch.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the Chicken cross the road? He didn't, the farm this chicken was on had fences bordering it to avoid this very situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

whats worse than being mentally challenged? losing your arms and legs and finding out that you have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Q:Way C'nt U reed tHis? A: Because im retarted -ian surprenant

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops