30cm = 0,3meters

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

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the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? because he is dead -Eden Hogg

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? This is 7, if you do everything I say, 6 will live.

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being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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A man throws a penny off of a cliff. He is now one cent poorer

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Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

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Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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What's worse than breaking your leg and not being able to walk? Breaking your neck because you will most likely not be able to walk from the high probability of being paralyzed for the rest of your life.

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How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

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You wanna hear something dirty? A pile of garbage. That's dirty.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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A horse walks into a bar, realizes that he shouldnt be here so he walks out.

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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