Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the computer crash? it didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

children burning

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the greatest part of buttsex the refrigerators

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops