knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

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children burning

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

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Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

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What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

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FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

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What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

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What would Hitler say if you give him a sandwich? Thankyou!

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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There once was a man from Dundee. He got stung by an angry wasp. He put some Bactine on it. He lied down and took a rest He felt much better the next morning.

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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