A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? There I no road.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

"Hey, why won't you let me through?" "These tickets are fake." "No they aren't. LOOK OVER THERE!" The guard turns around, and then turns back. Minorly inconvenienced, he arrests the man immediately, upon which he is sent to jail and anally raped multiple times.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Lil' Wayne

thumb_up thumb_down +17

8

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have AIDS we're dying together

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If you have a large penis.give this joke a thumbs up. ( :

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops