Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

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fava beans

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What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like there's two of me! There's not. Your long lost twin died of terminal cancer.

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What was little Timmy's final words? I just want to go home.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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whats hard, its not what you think a penis

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

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Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

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What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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