how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

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What did the German say the the Jewish man? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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You have Aids. April fools! you have super Aids.

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What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

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justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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Why does the man ignore his wife? Because he is dead.

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

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Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

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What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

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What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For fitness! ...yeah... nobody laughed when Jonah Hill said it either... awkward

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What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

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A fish walks into a bar Fish dont walk

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What do you all a dead black man? A corpse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops