Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

With the exception of pigs, both pigs and blue jays can fly

How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

a man walks into a bar. ouch.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

What happened when the turkey jumped out of the airplane? It fell.

A blonde, red head and brunette decide the jump off a cliff....... They all die

two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

whats white and looks like paper paper

What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

What did Helen Keller say to the leper? Buaaaaguuuhloo

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the poll booth to vote on a law restricting the questioning of chickens destination and furthermore to let chickens cross with out ridicule.

Paragnormal Activity: The confused sequels. My wife literally had an heart attack 5/5! -Awesome reviews. I am going to need therapy for the rest of my life! 5 out of 5 stars! -Star reviews THIS MOVIE KILLED MY DOG! 4.5/5 -Petlovers I literally died! 10/10 -Rotten Potatoes.

Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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